why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve
when I was one my brother dropped a book on my head…it was 3 volumes in one, hardcover
we need to sacrifice somebody so Ellen never dies
This is quickly becoming the Hunger Games for douchebags
I thought we sacrificed Leo’s hopes and dreams for this?????